Earlier this week, CNN reached a new frontier in journalistic integrity. Seven hours of their program scheduling on Wednesday were seized by their “unprecedented” climate change town hall, an unbelievable showing of diagnosable psychosis, paradoxical thought, the Freudian id, and an ultimate proxy for what Democrats really want to accomplish: a socialistic, tyrannical overreach of governance on the American populace. The event, whose in-house audience was presumably mandated to attend as some sort of punitive appropriation, featured the ten most popular Democratic presidential candidates, each segmented into forty-minute individual sessions.
Luckily, some hapful individuals actually watched all seven torturous hours, providing occupied Americans with the most pertinent highlights that propagate sorrow within the confines of anywhere but the swanky regions of elitism:
Mayor Pete Buttigieg audaciously compared the quest to overcome climate change to the heroic battle to trump Nazism within Europe, noting that the former is “perhaps even more challenging.” Senator Bernie Sanders remarkably admitted on live television that he wants to eliminate, via abortion and other birth control measures, the ostensible surplus human population. Entrepreneur Andrew Yang moronically asserted that under his presidency, the government would forcefully confiscate any and all vehicles that utilize combustible engines. And former Vice President Joe Biden had a blood vessel burst in his left eye during his forty-minutes of boredom, assuredly a metaphor for his aggregate campaign.
What all the candidates held in common, besides a yearning for the abolishment of America’s incredible energy surplus and independence, was the repeated use of the tiresome delineation that has been environmentalists’ favorite coinage for years: “existential threat.” Global warming is an “existential threat,” they say, and the literal Gaia will self implode in a meager decade if we don’t submit to measures preventing bovine flatulence. Every little thing we do matters, Democrats bloviate, as they get transported via private jets to uppity dinners with fossil fuel executives.
One would think, ergo, that an issue as life-altering, metaphysical, and epochal as climate change would be troubling everyone’s minds, stimulating immense palpitations from the thought alone of such a cataclysmic event. Logically, we should all be like Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who purportedly awakes from sleep in the caliginous night, fearful of the doomsday extravaganza that will terminate the human race as we know it. Climate change isn’t simply an economic or national issue, the Left proclaims; rather, it’s an intergenerational, international, present-and-future matter, and surely, it should be the biggest priority for all members of the electorate.
3%. That’s the percentage of voters that perceive climate change, pollution, and the environment holistically as the most important problem facing America today, per the latest edition of Gallup’s monthly poll concerning voters’ attitudes toward the variegated issues within the United States.
The problems Americans view as more pressing? The role of government and leadership, with 22 percent; immigration, with 18 percent; problems attributed to the economy, with 11 percent. None of those issues are evidently “existential,” yet a multiplicity more voters view them as the ones that justifiably warrant the most attention. Why is that?
Quite simply, the problems that the sanctimonious ruling class view as the most monumental, revolutionary, and deserving of the greatest governmental recourse, are almost always antithetical to the interests of Middle America.
While vocal environmentalists lament the unfortunate ecosystemic conditions of some absurd African nation, the Potomac River, flowing beautifully through our nation’s capital, is littered with disgusting garbage. While the administrative leadership in “progressive” California emphasizes on granting universal healthcare to individuals who are illegally residing in the state itself, actual citizens are seeing the once-beautiful Golden State transmogrify into 14th century Europe. While the Left repeatedly calls for greater governmental management of the American people, the middle class of America is benefiting exponentially from the decrease in authoritative demands, whether it be in the form of lesser taxes or the re-adoption of constitutional, Jeffersonian principles. While the “progressives” in Washington and the Hamptons call for mass immigration, wealth inequity enlarges, maintaining the class of the wealthy and perpetually expanding the so-called “servant” estate.
When ordinary Americans wake up every morning, their greatest concerns do not regard veganism, transgenderism, or climate change. It’s not because the American people are inherently immoral or apathetic; rather, middle class Americans’ most prominent worries revolve around their day-to-day livelihoods, their economic wellbeings, and the foreseeable security of themselves and their families. Predicated on this triad, it’s evidentially sensical why the three largest issues plaguing the body politic are what they are, and why “existential” climate change is considered so insignificant. The extent of governmental control in daily life, the reverberations of mass immigration with regards to economic sociology, and the diverse and variegated difficulties attributed to the macro- and microeconomy, all solidify, to a great degree, the aforementioned concerns impinging upon the citizenry of America.
While Ocasio-Cortez and other Left-wing dingbats allegedly lose sleep over the “existence-threatening” nature of climate change, the American people lose sleep over the potential of family and individual insecurity, day-to-day falters, and economic liabilities. America deserves a seven-hour town hall, facilitated by CNN, emphasizing and attempting to resolve those issues.
Surprisingly, the Cable News Network announced on Thursday that there will indeed be a second town hall in the fall, featuring the same runtime and cast of characters as the first. Luckily for us, the subject matter of the second event is even more imperative and urgent than the contemporary concerns of Middle America.
The topic of the upcoming event? LGBT+ rights.
Daniel Schmidt is a 15-year-old political commentator and opinion writer. In his freshman year of high school, he founded The Young Pundit, with the goal of establishing a hard-hitting conservative commentary outlet featuring youthful, incisive, and unbought voices. To read more about Daniel, click here.